Halfway Empty
by No Fate 1990
Summary: Lindsey is burnt out and unsatisfied. The poem is told through her point of view. Reviews are welcome.
1. Halfway Empty

**Date: April 21**

Erin's p.o.v

Wade in the water

Halfway empty imagination

A spirit of surrender

Tonight's fray

Hanging on by a moment

Evanescent longevity

Man-made success

Precious labor

The weight of the world

You hide underneath the shade of the sun while I travel down a different path

Only time knows where this road of life will lead to

Unsatisfied, I long to feel whole again


	2. A Rude Awakening

**Date: July 8**

**Erin's p.o.v**

"Wake up, Erin" a voice whispers breaking through the foggy mist. "Please leave me alone" tired, I order the voice. I am four months pregnant. My body demands

more sleep. "Wake up, Erin" the voice persists once again. Weakly, I open my eyes. Voight caught me sleeping on the job. "There is no sleeping on the job" Voight reminds me.

He doesn't know that I am pregnant. "I am sorry" I apologize and that's enough to make him leave my desk. I try to act normal for his sake. He doesn't suspect anything out

of the usual. So far, my baggy clothes have done a great job of hiding my pregnancy and wedding ring. It is against the law for me to date or to even marry my partner. Jay and I eloped at

the courthouse four months ago. Jay's brother, Will and a close friend of mine, Rachel witnessed the ceremony. We wanted to get married as soon as possible because I was pregnant. We

wanted our unborn daughter, Grace Anne Halstead to have a family. We decided not to share the good news with Voight and our coworkers because we didn't them to judge us. Anyway,

duty calls me in the present time. A dangerous house raid endangers Grace and me. The suspect shoots me in the stomach. Once beautiful and safe, the world now turns pitch

black before my eyes.


	3. Zig Zag

**Date: July 8**

**Jay's p.o.v **

Worried, I pace up and down the hallway. Fear has a strong hold on me. Antonio helps me into a nearby chair. "Erin and you are not an item. Why do you care about her so much?" Antonio wonders. "Erin is my

partner" I stress. "She is my wife and baby's mother!" I say silently to myself. "Erin is pregnant. Are you and Erin anything else more besides partners? If so, tell me right now" Voight demands. I am torn

between telling the truth or a lie. I choose the truth. "Erin is my wife. We eloped at the courthouse four months ago. We are expecting a daughter named Grace in December" I confess. Shocked, Voight and

Antonio are completely blown away. Erin's welfare weighs so much on my mind that I don't have time for their judgement. After what seemed to be an eternity, the doctor allows me to see Erin at last.

Miraculously, my wife and daughter survived the surgery. Seeing Erin's smiling face and hearing Grace's heartbeat has restored my hope.


	4. Even Still I love You

**Date: August Eighth**

**Erin's p.o.v**

You are nice to everyone else except for me,

that's just unfair. You don't trust me, but

even still I still love you. I apologize for

breaking your heart. What will it take

for you to forgive me? What will it take

for you to acknowledge my presence? What

will it take for you to have faith in me again?

Another hello and goodbye bites the dust. You

cast me aside until further notice.


	5. Learning To Cooperate

Date: August Twelfth

Voight's p.o.v

You have gone a strayed,

but I am learning to cooperate.

In this new stage of your life,

it is not my place judge you.

I am learning to cooperate.

I have decided to fill my heart

with love instead of hate.

I support you one hundred

percent.


	6. Learning To Readjust

**Date: September Eleventh**

**Jay's p.o.v**

Another dream bites the dust,

but I am learning to readjust.

Another life bites the dust,

but I am learning to readjust.

I am not perfect, but you are

learning to readjust. How

long will we stay stuck in

the same old situation?

Back at the crossroads,

an eternity passes us by.


	7. An Unexpected Dilemma and Blessing

**Date: October Thirteenth**

**Erin's p.o.v**

Days before the doctor detected abnormalities in the pregnancy. She said the baby showed symptoms of Down Syndrome. The weight of the world fell upon my

shoulders. Devastated, I couldn't stop crying. Down Syndrome. I never imagined this would happen. Hungry for knowledge, I visited Barnes and Noble today. Jay and

I searched for books pertaining to raising kids with Down Syndrome.

**Date**: **October Thirteenth**

**Jay's p.o.v**

Hungry for knowledge, Erin and I visit Barnes and Noble today. We search for books concerning raising kids with Down Syndrome. We never imagined we would be in this

position. Everything is now just a blur and I can't see beyond the dark gray clouds. I don't know if I can handle the stress and responsibilities that comes with parenting a disabled child.

Will Grace ever have a normal life? This question haunts me everyday. Hopeful, Erin's optimism outweighs my pessimism. Feeling Grace kick inside Peyton's stomach gives me joy for a

moment. We created a miracle seven months ago. I am looking forward to my daughter's birth in December.


	8. Visualized Hope

**Date: October 29**

**Erin's p.o.v**

Visualized hope,

a pipe dream, your

future. All of the

odds are stacked

up against you, but

you are strong enough

to endure anything.

I am sure you know

how much I care

about you. My arms

long to hold you tight

for you are such a rare

precious gold. I promise

to treat you right when others

reject or neglect you.


	9. Empathic Sympathy

**Date: November Eighteenth**

**Jay's p.o.v **

No words, just one look of great concern

is enough to let you know that I care.

I got you, how many times do I need

to say it or show it? Don't worry or feel sorry for

anything that is not your fault. Break open the

vault, your heart and allow me completely inside.

I want to catch the next tide with you.


	10. Never Saw It Coming

**Special Event: Thanksgiving Day**

**Scene: The House-Kitchen**

Action: Erin (eight months pregnant) is busy cooking Thanksgiving dinner when Jay enters the kitchen. He has just returned home from work.

Jay: Erin, what do you think you are doing?

Erin: I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner

Jay (assisting Erin into a chair): It is the doctor's orders for you to be on bed rest. You are eight months pregnant after all.

Erin (touching her huge swollen stomach): I have a baby inside of me, thanks for reminding me.

Jay: Erin, stress isn't good for you or the baby. I wonder how many times I need to tell you to stop working so hard?

Erin: I thank you for your concerns, but I am fine. I can take good care of myself.

Jay (studying Erin): I don't believe you

Erin: What about Thanksgiving dinner?

Jay: I will finish cooking dinner for you while you rest

Erin (feeling unwell, she exits the kitchen to upstairs to her room): I am going to take a nap

Jay (amused, he smirks): Dream sweet dreams, my love

(Action: Erin's screams sends Jay running upstairs to their bedroom. Erin is experiencing painful contractions.)

Erin (writhing in pain, she lays on the bed curled up in a tight fetal position): OUCH..OUCH..OUCH

Jay (feels the baby move within Erin's stomach): Hold on

Erin (nauseous, she runs to the bathroom to vomit in the toilet): Excuse me..

Jay (rubbing Erin's back): Everything will be alright

Erin (looking down, she discovers her pants are wet): My water just broke

Jay (panicky): The baby is coming!

**Place: The Hospital**

Action: Jay and Erin enter the hospital building where they encounter a group of nurses in the lobby

Jay (panicky, he yells): Help, my wife is in labor!

Nurse (helping Erin into a wheelchair): You can sit in this wheelchair, sweetheart

Erin (struggling through a painful contraction): Thanks

Nurse (escorting Erin to a nearby delivery room): I will take you to your room if you don't mind

Erin (struggling through another contraction): Thanks

Jay (squeezing Erin's hand): I am going nowhere, baby

**Scene: Hospital Room**

Action: Jay helps Erin to put on her hospital gown. Erin is struggling through another painful contraction.

Erin (bending over in pain): OUCH..

Jay (rubbing Erin's back): Just breathe

Jay (limping over to the bathroom): I have to urinate

Erin (laughing): OK

Jay (yelling from within the bathroom): JAY!

Jay(panicky, he runs into the stall): Yes, honey

Erin (clutches her stomach): I think the baby is coming out of me. The birth is imminent. I need a doctor asap.

Jay (assists Erin into the bed): You can rest here in this bed. Please don't push quite yet. I will get the doctor.

Erin (fighting back the urge to push): I will try to keep the baby inside of me

Jay (runs out of the room): I'll be back

Erin (yells behind Jay): Please hurry up

(Five minutes later, Jay arrives back in the room with the doctor and a nurse)

Erin (to the nurse): I want an epidural

The nurse (checking Erin): Its too late for an epidural. The baby will born within one push.

Erin: Its not that easy. I need something for the pain.

The nurse: Don't worry, you'll do fine

Jay (frightened, he watches the doctor organize his tools on the table): What are all those tools for?

The Doctor: I will use these tools such as the forceps just in case a complication rises

Jay: What kind of complications can occur?

The Doctor: The baby can be breeched or stuck in the birth canal

Jay (gasps): OH MY...

Erin (squeezing Jay's hand): The birth will be quick, smooth and painless

Jay (stressed): What if your circumstance is a matter of life or death?

Erin (choked up): I want you to save the baby's life instead of mine

Jay: I can't live without you

Erin: I have lived a long wonderful life. The baby needs to know and feel your love. However will you remember me after I am gone?

The Doctor (checks Erin's cervix): Erin, you are fully dilated. You can start pushing right now.

Erin (having contractions, she starts pushing): So it begins

Jay (worried, he holds Erin's hand very tightly): So this is the point when everything goes downhill?

The Doctor and nurse (counting): 1..2..3..4

Erin (begging anyone): Help me please

Jay (holding Erin's hand): Remember to breathe and push through the pain

Erin (pushes hard and long with each contraction): Giving birth, why does this have to be so hard?

Jay (squeezing Erin's hand): Please stay awake and alert

Erin: I won't die, this is my promise to you

Jay (kissing Erin's forehead): You're precious

Erin (having more contractions, she screams and grabs hold of Jay): AHA..AHA..AHA

Jay (crying): You are super woman, Sarah, I love you so much

Erin (with tears in her eyes): I love you too

The Obgyn (preparing to perform an episiotomy): You are struggling to bring forth the baby. This episiotomy will move things faster. An episiotomy is a cut into the vagina to help release the baby.

Erin (desperate to be rid of the baby): OK

The Obgyn (cutting Erin): Just breathe through the pain

Erin (screaming as she holds Jay): AHA..AHA..AHA..AHA

Jay (stroking Erin's hair): Don't worry, your pain is temporary.

The obgyn (preparing to catch the baby): I can see the baby's head

Erin (moaning): Its finally happening

Jay: The baby is crowning. She's almost here.

The Obgyn(to Sarah): Erin, don't push too hard

Sarah: Why not?

The Obgyn: The baby's shoulders are stuck

Jay (overcome with emotion, he thinks about what could possibly go wrong during the birth): OH MY GOD

Erin (panicky): Will my daughter be alright?

The Obgyn(trying to pull the baby out of Erin): Your daughter will be alright, trust me

Erin (overcome with pain and pressure, she screams as she begins to cry): AHA..AHA..AHA

A nurse (using towel to clean up Erin's bloodshed): Doctor, Erin is losing a lot of blood. She could possibly be tearing.

Jay (overcome with emotion): OH MY GOD

Doctor (still trying to pull the baby out of Erin): That's not good, this baby needs to be delivered as soon as possible

Erin (exhausted, she collapses into Jay's arms): I can't do this. I am not strong enough.

Jay (feels Erin starting to slip away): Now is not the time for you to die

Erin (hyperventilating): I can't breathe

Nurse (putting a breathing mask on Erin): This breathing mask will be able to help you

Erin (emotional): thanks

The Obgyn(to Erin): All you have do is push one more time and the baby will be out of you

(With one final strong push, Erin brings a healthy full-term baby girl into the world. Jay's love for Erin and Grace deepens from that moment on. )


	11. Grace

Scene: Hospital Room

Situation: Jay and Erin's six year old daughter, Grace Halstead is hospitalized

Doctor (checking Grace's temperature): Grace's temperature is still high

Erin (worried): Thats not good

Erin (coughing): I want my teddy bear

Erin (giving Grace her teddy bear): Here you go, sweetheart

Grace (coughing): Thanks

Doctor (walking out of the room): I will check on Grace later on

Grace: Mommy, I am hungry

Erin (gives Grace animal crackers): These crackers will be able to satisfy your hunger

Grace (eating the crackers): Thanks

Erin (with a smirk): No problem

(Erin sits down in a chair next to Grace's bed. Erin pulls out her book bag that contains a stack of get well cards)

Erin(reading a card): We hope you get better soon love

Grace (coughing): Thanks

Erin (kisses Grace's forehead): I love you

Grace (coughing): I want to go home

Erin: You can't go home until the doctor says so

Grace (coughing): Alright

Jay (walks into the room): How is my baby doing?

Grace (running into Jay's arms): Daddy!

Jay (embraces Grace): Hello, sweetheart

Erin (stressed): Our daughter is still sick

Jay (helps Grace back into the bed): You should rest

Grace (coughing): Thanks

Jay (kissing Grace's forehead): I love you

Grace (coughing): Daddy, I love you too


	12. Extraordinary Special Me

**Date: Thanksgiving Day**

**Special Event: Grace's birthday**

**Grace's p.o.v. **

I was born different.

True blue, nothing is new underneath the sun.

Your love for me is permanent,

genuine. You shout out loud how proud

you are of me. I experience defeat,

but love remains a heartbeat that connects

us together forever. I was born different, but

you wouldn't prefer anything else.


	13. A Miraculous Cycle

Jay's p.o.v.

A miraculous cycle

God's gift of life

Endless tender loving care

My wonderful support system, family and friends, a team that will never reject me

My delicious chocolate ice cream sundae

An undeniably beautiful fairytale dream

Grace

Immeasurable solitude

Continuous heavenly bliss

Yuletide gratitude

Cute and cuddly Christmas spirit

Lovely mistletoe

Enchanted magical goodluck charm


	14. Rare Gold

**Erin's p.o.v **

Precious fragility

Rare gold

Endless true love

Companionship

Inevitable drifting ship

One unobtainable nine month miracle

Unachievable lifelong dream

Scarcely dark fantasy

Precious fragility

Elegant simplicity

Candy cotton clouds

Ideas yet to be conceived and born

A bunch of restart and refresh buttons

Life's teachable laughable moments

Oceans of numerous possibilities

Victories yet to be won

Enormous mountains standing in my way


End file.
